Deep in December

This month was supposed to be about A.R. Ammons and his book, The Tale of the Tape, which I recently purchased, but I couldn’t stop working on my haunts poems. (as of 4 jan 2024 I have 81 pages of notes.) More edits, more additions, lots of ideas about what to do with them. The feeling of being (almost too) deep in with this current obsession with the idea of obsession and restlessness and reworking my haunts poems. Trying to write this summary, I feel overwhelmed and over stimulated, but I’ll keep moving, step after step, word after word, bird by bird.

Perhaps the biggest thing that happened to this poem this month is its erosion. Almost all of the original poem is gone, replaced with new ideas inspired by it. A few traces still remain — those might not be here by the end of January. The old lines are haunting the new ones. I’ve tentatively titled it Haunted. Also included in this haunting are favorite/significant lines from poets. Instead of presenting them as is, I’ve reworked them to fit my rhythmic breathing form of 3/2. I really like this idea — how it actually works on the page and as a concept.

note: when I started writing the following paragraph, it was intended as explanation of what I’m struggling with, but I started writing it and got sucked right back into my obsession with how to frame/form/enact my ideas of haunting and being haunted:

To stop trying to be clever. Stop starting with the ideas, the theories, the words. Begin before the words in the space in-between the IS and its meaning. another way to understand what the gorge is?

I’m not sure what to do with all of my words and ideas and my unwillingness to take a break from thinking and writing and crafting little poems about the gorge and ghosts and girls who want to be satisfied and always somewhere else. I guess this feeling is what I need to try and capture in the poems, but right now I am tired of dwelling in it.

Time for a break. It’s January 4th, 2024. I’ll post this page as it is and maybe I’ll return to it later. Good luck, future Sara!