5 miles
bottom of franklin hill
55 degrees
What a wonderful morning for a run! 55 degrees! Low wind, bright sun. Wore my pink jacket until I warmed up, faded black shorts, gray t-shirt, raspberry red shoes, my mostly purple with pink splotches lightweight baseball cap that I found in my mother-in-law’s closet after she died, with the tag still on, and white socks (also found with tags on in her closet).
Running south, then back up to under the Franklin bridge, I listened to chainsaws, workers yelling about trees falling, bluejays screeching, Dave the Daily Walker saying good morning, and Daddy Long Legs calling out hello. For the last 2 miles of the run I listened to Olivia Rodrigo’s GUTS.
10 Things
- the deep voice of the coxswain calling out instructions
- the blue, empty river
- graffiti on a post under the lake street bridge — block letters outlined in black — was there blue too? I can’t remember
- an old convertible sports car parked under the bridge, white or cream
- a photographer with a telephoto lens on their camera, standing under the trestle, probably taking pictures of the river
- Daddy long legs stretched out on a bench
- some guy talking (to the gorge? on the phone? to some other person I couldn’t see?) halfway up a column under the bridge — was I seeing this right?
- a line of bikers in bright yellow and orange vests heading south when I was heading north
- someone running in a bright pink shirt, another in orange, and one without a shirt
- my shadow — sharp and dark in the sun, running alongside me
Found June Jordan’s Guidelines for Critiquing a Poem in one of my files. Right now, I’m especially interested in these bits:
2. Is it a poem?
a. Poetry: A medium for telling the truth.
b. Poetry: The achievement of maximum impact with minimal number of words.
c. Poetry: Utmost precision in use of language, hence, density and intensity of expression.
Technical Checklist:
a. Strong, descriptive verbs. Eliminate all forms of the verb “to be.”
b. Singularity and vividness of diction (choice of words)
c. Specificity / resonant and representative details
d. Avoidance of abstractions and generalities
e. Defensible line breaks
f. Compelling / appropriate horizontal and / or vertical rhythm and / or vertical line breaks.
g. Alliteration / Assonance / Dissonance
h. Rhyme
i. Consistency of voice / distance from the reader / diction
j. Dramatic inconsistencies
k. Punctuation (Punctuation is not word choice. Poems fly or falter according to the words composing them. Therefore, omit punctuation and concentrate on every single word. E.g., if you think you need a question mark then you need to rewrite so that your syntax makes clear the interrogative nature of your thoughts. And as for commas and dashes and dots? Leave them out!)